Menu Close

Self-aware People Managers Are Great To Work With

I firmly believe that self-awareness is a desirable trait in people managers. It goes hand in hand with, or is a component of, emotional intelligence. Many people want to be more self-aware, me included, and make an effort to do so every day.

The Art Of Self-Awareness. Are you self-aware? Image credit: Min An
Image credit: Min An

How To Spot A Self-aware People Manager

Throughout my career I’ve noticed a few things about what people managers who I think are self-aware do, that others don’t.

Which of these do you identify with? Are there other traits of self-aware people you have noticed?

Give Their Complete Attention

I’ve noticed that self-aware people give you their complete attention at all times during conversation. You won’t see them scroll through email or social media on their personal device while you’re presenting to them.

They let you know in advance if they may need to step out during your conversation for any reason and they ignore distractions.

They are constantly putting themselves in your shoes and don’t engage in ignorant or rude behaviour.

Treat You With Respect

Self-aware people heed the saying ‘speak to someone how you would like to be spoken to’. They treat others as human beings, using no degrading or disrespectful behaviour, no matter who they are talking to.

Moreover self-aware people will take an interest in those they are speaking to and generate conversation with them, putting them at ease. It’s common for people to feel relaxed in the company of self-aware people, even if you’ve only just met.

Value and Practice Humility

Even those who have achieved greatness, if they are self-aware, will be humble.

Michelle Obama said:

“We learned about gratitude and humility – that so many people had a hand in our success, from the teachers who inspired us to the janitors who kept out school clean… and we were taught to value everyone’s contribution and treat everyone with respect.”

Self-awareness Does Not Stop There…

I recently came across an article on self-awareness by Tasha Eurich. It was from about four or five years ago. Tasha was embarking on a large-scale study to understand self-awareness, in a bid to understand whether people can improve it and if so, how.

Following up on Tasha’s research I came across her fascinating November 2017 TEDX talk. I hung on her every word and here were my key takeaways:

  • 95% of us believe we are self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are
  • There is no pattern to who is self-aware, anyone from any walk of life or profession can be self-aware
  • Introspection, and trying to understand why something happened when it did, is not increasing your self-awareness
  • Self-aware people ask what they can do to reach a certain outcome and they move forward instead of fixating on why something happened in the past

Here is the link to Tasha’s talk. If you’re on a quest to improve your self-awareness it makes a very interesting watch: https://www.ted.com/talks/tasha_eurich_increase_your_self_awareness_with_one_simple_fix

What Do You Think?

Let me know your thoughts on this in the comments below, I would love to hear from you.

Sign up for my mailing list to receive Mastering Difficult Conversations, a free five-part printable mini-book series covering the following topics:

  • Setting yourself up for success
  • Managing expectations
  • Confronting an issue
  • Giving disappointing news
  • Bonus: Celebrating a service anniversary

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *